another reason i'm not posting much this past week

is that i've started sleep training maggie. since the nightweaning thing hasn't panned out thus far, i've decided to go hardcore: no more just explaining to her majesty that mommy doesn't want to naney at night, she actually has to fall asleep without them, like it or not. because all of the "sleep experts" say that the way the child falls asleep at night is the way they'll expect to go back to sleep when they wake up at night, i've decided that she isn't going to fall asleep nursing any more. i started this plan on wednesday night, and it actually went pretty well that first time. she likes her bed, nina is in the room, i sat down in a chair next to her bed, and she laid there and talked to herself, me, and nina for about 45 minutes before starting to cry, but shortly thereafter falling asleep cuddled in my arms, but not nursing. i was happy enough with that. i don't mind if she sleeps cuddled with me (in fact, i prefer it), i just don't want her nursing at night. really, margarete, is that too much to ask?

the next night was not so successful. an hour of in and out of bed (i gave up on the sitting next to her, she gets too much energy from that, so i sat on the futon there at the top of the stairs, and just led her back to bed, no/minimal interaction (the supernanny technique) whenever she got out of the room). for the longest time she was happy as a clam, and she ALMOST feel asleep! she forced herself to get up again and again though. anyway, after over an hour of that, she finally lost it and started crying. i have my crying limits, and it's about 15 minutes, so i ended up nursing her. failure.

the next night was better again. some minimal crying, and eventually she fell asleep in her bed, no nursing, me sitting in the chair next to her.

the night after that she fell asleep in the car, so that doesn't really count.

but tonight! the girls is not giving up this fight!! it was another hour and a half (at least, i try to avoid looking at the clock). she pooped TWICE, peed once, got out of bed countless times, held several conversations with herself and a sleeping nina, finally came out to be with me on the futon, laid on the floor and cried because i wouldn't nurse her, then asked me to sing the wonder pets theme song, go to sleep, amazing grace, and finally fell asleep as i sang, twice, at her request, the star spangled banner.

it had better get easier soon!!